What're your balance of values for attraction?

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 15:56:37

In a relationship, which is more important to you or what starts things, the physical connection or the emotional connection? After you are together,how do you feel about this? Does one stand out above the other for you, or is it a fifty fifty equalibrium?

Post 2 by Nage (Your father's friend's daughter's roommate's niece) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 16:01:47

If it's going to be a relationship, there has to be an emotional connection. Though it's shalllow on my part, a physical connection is also a must. I suppose it's a fifty fifty balance thing, but on occasion one will overthrow the other.

Post 3 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 16:06:04

The personality. That is way more important than the physical atraction. First of all ... I can#t see anyway. Second ... I mean of course the guy has to look clean. But I don't care if he#s black or white or thin or large or tall or small ... just the personality and that we have things in common, that is all I am looking for in a guy.

Post 4 by HauntedReverie (doing the bad mango) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 18:57:19

emotional attraction is a must, but you can't have a relationship with only that. That'd be like dating your mom or something. There has to be some definet physical attraction there too, a fifty fifty thing, though personally, i prefer emotional attraction just a bit more

Post 5 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 21:49:38

an emotional connection is most important to me.

Post 6 by saiyan4414 (the Zone BBS remains forever my home page) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 22:37:04

Emotional all the way. That's how it is for me.

Post 7 by frequency (the music man) on Sunday, 14-May-2006 23:47:13

physical is needed, but it's great when a girl is all sweet, and tells you things that make you feel great!

Post 8 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Monday, 15-May-2006 7:59:24

Emotional definitely if I don't feel that connection its just souless sex and exploitation of a sort that disgusts me.

Post 9 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 15-May-2006 8:55:51

well it depends what oyu mean with physical attraction. If all of you think large people are ugly ... for me, I rather have a large but cuddly andn ice guy than a thin, goodlooking sexaddict.

Post 10 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Monday, 15-May-2006 19:51:57

My experience has been that, for me at least, the personality atracts me, and the physical attraction comes afterword as a part of that.

Post 11 by ItsJustBabyT (the price is WRONG, bitch!) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 0:02:05

I think at first you have to be somewhat attracted at first, to something somewhat shallow. Then you get to konw the person, and it's...I don't know. For me, the more I know a person, the more I'm attracted to them. And as I get to know little parts of their personality, the physical attraction grows and yeah...because looks go away, but the emotional connection will always stay.

Post 12 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 5:38:06

öI aree. That's true: The emotional side should come first. Then the physical attraction is a part of it. It should not be the other way round unfortunately though many sighted people do it the other way round.

Post 13 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 8:22:13

And a good few blind people also, if you dont want emtional committment, you might as well buy a reptile

Post 14 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 10:00:49

Lol true.

Post 15 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 12:45:55

Physical all the way! lol Where are all my shallow zoners at? He's gotta have what it takes to get with me. If I don't think he's hottttt then it's bye bye and on to the next guy! hehehehe!

Post 16 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 16-May-2006 15:19:42

Michelle, then you belong to that group ... I agree, it is a bit shallow. Lol

Post 17 by SingerOfSongs (Heresy and apostasy is how progress is made.) on Wednesday, 17-May-2006 6:14:20

A couple responses to a couple things I've seen written here (though I might be overlapping somewhat with what others have said.) To cuddly German Girl: unfortunatley being only into the physical is something I've seen a lot of blind people into as well. I don't think it's as common, but more common than we'd probably like to thihnk. To sexygurl86, doesn't that get right back into this topic here? I mean, what people see as "hot" isn't always physical either, though I'm probably twisting your words slightly. :)

Post 18 by Luce (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 17-May-2006 6:46:44

I'd say both were important in a good relationship, but emotional connection by far and wide outweighs physical attraction! It may be the physical attraction which draws your attention to your partner to start with, but, well, for me at least, it's the intense emotional connection which blows me away! And believe me, when you've found the right person and you have that connection... you know it! So extreme and intense, and it just gets stronger every day. And that's something you could never share with anyone else. Whereas in contrast, it's human nature to find more than one person attractive or to think someone else is fit even when you're in a solid, loving, perfect relationship, that's only natural, but it's the emotional connection you share with your partner which takes it to a level on which no one else could ever compete! It's that connection which defines for me, my soulmate! And, as well, for me, it's that intense emotional connection which makes the physical connection all the more intense, if that makes any sense? To share that emotional connection with my girlfriend just makes her all the more sexy and makes me want her all the more!!!

Post 19 by Ukulele<3 (Try me... You know you want to.) on Tuesday, 23-May-2006 4:10:24

lol singer of songs! I'm glad you caught that. I worded it in that way for a reason. What I find hotttt doesn't necessarily mean that he's gonna be extremely handsome. It's just my own oppinion on what I find attractive or not. I just said I'd go for the whole physical thing because (Yes. I admit it,) I have let that factor stop me from getting with someone before. And it is quite funny how many blind people do not admit to their own shallowness! For example, I wouldn't ever consider going out with anyone who wore their hair long. I just wouldn't like it and would probably never be satisfied until he cut it off.

Post 20 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Tuesday, 23-May-2006 14:59:52

Oh, and the voice is important. I don't like voices which are too rough, voices where you realize that the guy had already been smoking for quite some time, for example. And, I agree, singer of songs ... I know a couple of blind people who prefer the physical. I remember the story in our school, where a guy had a girlfriend. He was totally blind. They did everything together, really everything. And when his brother visited him and he asked him "What does my GF look like?" and the brother said "She looks horrible" ... he broke up with her. And I think this is rather disgusting.

Post 21 by Rune Knight (Ancient Demon - Darkness will always conquer Light!) on Tuesday, 23-May-2006 16:38:53

Here is what I look at before even starting a relatinship and that is the personality and emotions toward one another. The physical state doesn't bother me at all to much, because it's what's on the inside that counts, not what's on the outside. To each his/her own though.

Post 22 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 28-May-2006 15:35:38

I agree, Chris. Inside, that's what matters.

Post 23 by dissonance (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Sunday, 28-May-2006 19:13:19

Yeah, I would agree with inside rather than out when measuring beauty.....but I think that the difference between the physical and emotional connections is what shapes the difference between love and infatuation. I mean, you can have little flirtacious flings with people which can be more physically driven (or emotionally driven) and I can see myself in that, but ttrue love, well the emotional connection....just basically everything that doctor lucy mentioned.

Post 24 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 29-May-2006 9:23:33

Exactly.

Post 25 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Monday, 29-May-2006 12:12:22

it's amazing...when you've found it...you'll know.

Post 26 by The Roman Battle Mask (Making great use of my Employer's time.) on Monday, 29-May-2006 19:33:38

It's all about the physical connection, my girl needs to look like a porn star, be willing to sleep with me and any other women or man I bring into the bedroom, you get the idea.

Post 27 by trampazoid (Account disabled) on Sunday, 04-Jun-2006 4:57:04

The physical attraction usually comes first for me, sometimes the emotional attraction comes at the same time, but usually later on.

Post 28 by Pure love (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Wednesday, 07-Jun-2006 10:36:46

Of course the physical attraction is just the first impression ... it is the part you see/discover first. But I would just not look at it and recognize any "eaknesses" they have. In fact, if you really want to have a serious relationship, emotion, common interest and personality is what matters.

Post 29 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Friday, 26-Jun-2009 2:04:33

Neither and I wouldn't think much of them even after we have been together.